Duterte’s arrested, now I can walk more freely
Men, you must be humble allies in this movement. Please do not perpetuate cycles of harm by insisting that women must adjust, no matter how well-intentioned. Let the women in your lives tell you what they need and listen to them sincerely.
Last Tuesday’s headlines slipped through messages from different group chats. “Have you heard?” “A historic moment.” “Finally, finally.”
The news of Rodrigo Duterte’s arrest by the International Criminal Court (ICC) comes as catharsis for the families of over 30,000 drug war victims. Filipinos all over the world who denounced this man as their leader are relieved and hopeful.
Human rights advocates are celebrating but remaining vigilant; Duterte’s atrocities are once again circulating social media so that we may fight against any and all powers that replicate his methods of oppression.
The process of justice is far from complete, but this moment deserves pause and reflection. I want to bring attention to the personal thread running parallel to this political moment. I have not personally witnessed the extrajudicial killings of Duterte’s regime, and I wasn’t living in the country when the majority of his crimes were committed. There are others who have advocated tirelessly against Duterte’s drug war who have much to say. Please do listen to them.
What I am is a Filipina, brown skinned and fetishized and ogled, and I need to say that Duterte’s arrest lets me walk more freely.
Duterte has made countless sexist statements that perpetuate gender violence over the years of his public governance. He views women as bags of flesh useful only for men’s pleasure and reproduction. This is a man with two daughters, reminding us once again that being in relationships with women does not automatically exempt you from sexism.
When walking the streets of Manila, I’ve been honked at, cat-called and stared at by all kinds of men. In those moments, I keep my eyes down and quicken my stride.
I imagine those men see me like Duterte does, all bravado and no remorse. I imagine them calling me “masungit” when I don’t give them any attention. It is rare and relieving when I meet a kind, old man’s face who looks me in the eye and smiles, saying “Ingat ka.”
I know there are plenty of good men out there. When I walk next to my partner, Ethan, I don’t experience the same trouble because he protects me—but this too is frustrating. Why do I need to belong to a man to be left alone by other men?
Today, knowing Duterte’s been arrested, I walked home differently. I allowed myself to take my time, slow my stride a bit. And when I turned my head and caught the eye of the man who honked at me, the one who leaned his body out the window to see if I would look at him, I shook my head and walked on. I felt a familiar fear, but I also found myself smiling. Ang tapang ko ngayon. It’s a feeling I want to have more.
Duterte is a misogynist who perpetuates rape culture in the Philippines through his violent rhetoric. For all the things he’s done, he deserves a lifetime in prison. But I’m aware that systemic change rarely comes from the existing system. Even if the ICC ruling goes in the people’s favor, there will still be violent misogynists in positions of power, or on the streets, or in our friends and coworkers.
What we need is to continuously protect and empower women. Feminist organizations have been doing this by organizing women’s groups, creating safe community spaces, sharing feminist education and art, providing mental health care, championing indigenous sovereignty, and much more.
Men, you must be humble allies in this movement. Please do not perpetuate cycles of harm by insisting that women must adjust, no matter how well-intentioned. Let the women in your lives tell you what they need and listen to them sincerely.
We just want to walk with our heads held high. Duterte’s arrest allows me to walk more freely, and I hope that with continuous collective action, all women will be able to do the same.
